


tear down the house

by sleepingintheculdesac



Series: the words we say [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ALL THE ANGST and then some, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, M/M, media fic, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3169718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingintheculdesac/pseuds/sleepingintheculdesac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wilson, you and I know Barnes was the biggest support Steve had for most of his life. The only one capable of supporting him after losing Barnes would be Barnes himself."<br/>“Which is exactly my p—"</p><p><em>End of message.</em><br/>-BEEP-<br/><em>Message deleted.</em></p><p>Or: If Steve quit calling Bucky's voicemail after he fell, along with everyone else's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a military modern au media fic (say that five times fast). 
> 
> Though my knowledge of media is vast and unprecedented, my knowledge of American Military is limited to what I can google. Please forgive the inevitable structural errors you may come across.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some important need to know information before proceeding on this multi-media journey:  
> 1\. Though this story (I hope) makes sense in its own right, the context for this universe is much more accessible in the (stunningly angsty) prequel, [new york, quit calling](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2753858). That is the only recommended reading before proceeding forward. 
> 
> 2\. This story is told entirely through dialogue and other forms of media (with the occasional sound effect). I've tried to be consistent with my formatting for texts, in particular, across the entirety of the fic. The clues for who is speaking at any time are within the dialogue itself! That said, if you're finding it confusing to distinguish between characters, please do let me know in the comments. This is a whole new world for me.
> 
> 3\. This story is complete. I will be posting a chapter every other day. There is a third (and final) fic that I have mapped out for this universe which would follow a similar format that is _not_ complete, but is being etched away at slowly. Your comments are what fuel the fires!
> 
> 4\. I'm obsessed with the Avett brothers. Like, beyond that one song about Brooklyn. I'm pretty sure they were writing the soundtrack for Steve and Bucky's life from day one. So if you're into some twangy folk, they are the number one recommended listen for this fic, all day every day.
> 
> Now, on with the show!
> 
>   
> I remember crying over you,  
> I'm talking about collapsing and screaming at the moon,  
> Yes, I'm a better man for having gone through  
> 

_Your call has been forwarded to an automatic message system. –Steve Rogers- is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press pound for more options._ –BEEP-

“Hey Steve, pick up pick up pick up. Been trying to get a hold of you all morning. Look, I… I know today isn’t exactly a great day for you. Hell, it isn’t a great day for any of us. But a bunch of us are getting together at Tony’s and kind of…I don’t know. Keeping each other company, you know? Might be good not to be holed up on your own on the one year mark. Plus if we get bored we can race on Tony’s treadmills. Let’s see you try passing me on one of those things, hey? Anyway, call me when you get this. Bye.”

+++

 **Fri Dec 11 // +00 1 701 934 4586**  
(11:04am)  
Steve

(11:04am)  
Clint is offending my womanly sensibilities. I need you to come defend my honour

 **Steve Rogers**  
(11:05am)  
Why are you texting me from a Chinese number?

(11:07am)  
Oh good, so you are alive

(11:08am)  
How did you know it was Chinese? Did you google it?

(11:10am)  
I’m ex-military, Natasha.

(11:11am)  
Gee, Cap, I had no idea

(11:12am)  
Don’t call me that, please.

(11:13am)  
Are you coming to Tony’s?

(11:16am)  
You know I can see when you’ve read these, right?

(11:20am)  
It’ll be good to get out

(11:25am)  
I really wish people would stop assuming they know what’s good for me.

(11:26am)  
He would’ve wanted you to get out more too

(11:40am)  
You’re not the only one that misses him, Steve

+++

_You have one unheard message. First message:_

“Hello Captain Rogers, my name is Jenna Doyle with the New York Times. I’m calling you about an upcoming piece we’re doing on fallen soldiers in Afghanistan. Given your service record, I’m sure you can appreciate why we would love to feature you if at all possible. The interview would take about an hour, and can be done by phone if you’re unable to mee---"

-BEEP-

_Message deleted. End of messages._

+++

 **Fri Dec 11 // Sam Wilson**  
(2:07pm)  
**I’ve got to say, I’m a little offended you replied to Natasha but not to me**  

 **Steve Rogers**  
(2:10pm)  
It’s not personal, Sam.

(2:15pm)  
**Hey, don’t sweat it. Make it up to me by splitting a pizza**

(2:20pm)  
**At Tony’s**

(2:25pm)  
**In two hours**

(2:40pm)  
I’m really not feeling up to it

(2:42pm)  
**Turning down friendship pizza, ouch**

(2:46pm)  
I’m sorry Sam, I just can’t today.

(2:49pm)  
**Alright. Check in with me in a couple of hours, okay?**

(2:55pm)  
**Steve**

(2:57pm)  
Yeah, yeah, I’ll check in with you.

(2:59pm)  
**Good man, Rogers**

+++

_You have two unheard messages. First message:_

“Hey! Steve-o! I ordered a pizza with pineapples just for you. I –ow, hey! I’m on the phone, Wilson. Gosh, where is everyone’s sense of decency these days, am I right? Anyway, I really do want you to swing by if you can, so if you’re feeling up to infringing on my endless hospitality, just give me a shout.”

-rustle-

“So?”

“I called him, I left him a message, I was sincere, I offered pizza. What else do you want?

“Anthony Edward Stark? Sincere?”

“Samuel Aardvark Wilson? Disbelieving?”

“My middle name is Thomas.”

“Irrelevant.”

“Maybe I should go over there.”

“Sam, maybe the good captain wants to be left alone today. You work at the VA, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, but I’m not Steve’s counsellor, I’m his friend. And as his friend—"

“We should be giving him his space.”

“We should be making sure he’s got support.”

“Wilson, you and I know Barnes was the biggest support Steve had for most of his life. The only one capable of supporting him after losing Barnes would be Barnes himself.”

“Which is exactly my p—"

_End of message._

-BEEP-

_Message deleted. Next message:_

“Hey Steve, it’s Rebecca. I stopped by the grave today and saw it had been spruced up. Thanks for that. I’m just calling to check in with you, we haven’t properly talked since the funeral, and—well, you’re maybe the only person that knew him as well as I did… better, even… and that means something, y’know? Anyway, I saw in the news that one of your pieces is being featured at the Maupin gallery next month - that’s uh, that’s great. Bucky would’ve been proud… So, that’s all I got. Hope to hear from you soon.”

_End of message._

-BEEP-

_Message will be saved for five days. End of messages._

+++

-RING-

“Hello?”

“Holy hell, someone get the press, Steve Rogers actually picked up the phone.”

“I prefer to text.”

“I prefer to eat brownies and nothing else for the next decade, but we can’t always get what we want.”

“Very funny, Sam.”

“Ain’t it though? You know what’s funnier?”

“Sam—"

“Is the time. The time is friggen hilarious, man.”

“I just lost track of—"

“I mean, you said you would check in with me in a couple hours and it’s been about four.”

“Sam—"

“And twenty six minutes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry enough to get off your ass and get down here?”

“Not quite.”

“Steve.”

“No, I really can’t, Sam, I’m working on some stuff.”

“Your stuff can wait.”

“…”

“Steve, c’mon. We don’t want you to be alone today. Let us help you.”

“I appreciate the thought, but I can take care of myself. Really.”

“It’s not a matter of whether you can or not.”

“Sam, please. Please.”

“… Okay. Alright. But tomorrow…?”

“We will return to our daily programming of me following you into the depths of becoming a well-adjusted human being.”

“Ha! You follow me? You and I both know that it’s always been the other way around.”

“Yeah… I know. See you tomorrow.”

“Night Steve.”

-click-

+++

(10:34pm)  
How is everything?

(10:39pm)  
Fine.

(10:40pm)  
Do you want me to come over?

(10:42pm)  
Not really.

(10:42pm)  
I’ll bring Ben and Jerry’s

(10:49pm)  
Cheesecake brownie, please.

(10:49pm)  
Coming right up.

+++

 _You’ve reached General Alexander Pierce. Leave a detailed message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. If this is a media inquiry, please contact the Office of the Chief of Public Affairs._ -BEEP-

“Pierce. It’s Zola. He’s awake. He still remembers. It’s not working. We will need to run some more experimental trials before attempting again. Call me to arrange the transfer of the new batch.”

 

tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sleepingintheculdesac.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get murdered in the city  
> Don't go revenging in my name

_“The happy homecoming of many of our American troops has been put on hold, what with recent attacks on a U.S. military squad stationed in Afghanistan. Though a formal statement has not yet been released, we have received confirmation that last night in Afghanistan nine soldiers were taken hostage when they were en route to a classified air base that was equipped to send them home. On location in Washington, D.C., we have Kelly Clare. Kelly, can you tell us a little bit about the situation?”_

_“Thanks Sarah. I’m here at The Pentagon where Sergeant Major Brock Rumlow is set to be giving the public an update on the crisis escalating in Afghanistan. Though the Obama Administration formally withdrew American troops from Afghanistan late last year, several bases remained open in the country in order to assist with the training and transition of the newly organized Afghan military. What we know so far is that one of the squads overseeing this training had been set to fly home from Afghanistan yesterday, but was attacked en route and taken hostage. All reports indicate that the soldiers are alive, but unfortunately there isn’t much more else we can say until Sergeant Major Rumlow gives us a more comprehensive update.”_

_“For what appears to be a very serious situation there isn’t a lot of information circulating about this incident, Kelly.”_

_“That’s very true, Sarah. In fact, CNN’s investigation into this attack has been met with a lot of roadblocks. Almost everything regarding these nine soldiers has been redacted. Where in Afghanistan they were located, what their original mission was, how long they’ve been on tour, their ranks, and even their names are not being released. We have been told that this is to ensure that these soldiers are not compromised while in enemy hands.”_

_“What do we know about the attack itself, Kelly?”_

_“Again, not very much. We’re not even sure who it was that set this hostage-taking into motion. Some military analysts, however, are commenting that these events mirror the attack that took place last year in Afghanistan under very similar circumstances. I am of course referring to the six soldiers who were taken hostage and were subsequently executed in a live broadcast.”_

_“What is it that makes these two cases so similar?”_

_“Well, for one Sarah, those six soldiers were also set to fly home the very evening that they were taken hostage. As well, not much is known about the people who organized those executions –over seven terrorist groups came forward to claim ownership over the attack, and that to this day it remains unclear which of those organizations were responsible. That said, there are some notable differences as well.”_

_“Such as?”_

_“Well, within hours of the confirmation of the hostage situation of 2014, the names of those soldiers were made public record almost immediately. Specialists Jacques Dernier, Gabriel Jones, Montgomery Falsworth, Jim Morita, Corporal Timothy Dugan, as well as Sergeant James Barnes were in fact executed almost exactly a year ago today. These are the same soldiers who, under Captain Steve Rogers, infamously disbanded one of the most notable terrorist organizations – Hydra – operating in the region back in 2011. Speculations are being made as to whether these nine soldiers may have been involved in the disbanding of Hydra in a similar capacity, and whether there is any link between these nine soldiers, and the famously dubbed Howling Commandos that were sadly killed on duty. Attempts to reach Captain Rogers for comment regarding this new copy-cat attack have been unsuccessful.”_

_“Thanks Kelly. Well, it looks like the press conference is set to go underway. We’ll take you now, live at the Pentagon, to Sergeant Major Rumlow.”_

 

+++

 **Tues Dec 15 // +011 65 7250 9485**  
(9:02am)  
Are you watching this?

 **Sam Wilson**  
(9:04am)  
**Who is this?**

(9:06am)  
Santa Claus

(9:09am)  
**Are you ever going to text from an American number, Natasha?**

(9:10am)  
Turn on CNN

(9:11am)  
**It’s already on.**

(9:11am)  
**Rumlow’s still as eloquent as ever.**

(9:13am)  
No kidding. “Avoid leaping to assumption,” – like anyone can make any assumptions based on the nothing they’ve given us

(9:14am)  
**Well it makes sense to keep that info out of the media.**

(9:16am)  
They haven’t even told me what’s happening

(9:17am)  
**What, really?**

(9:19am)  
All I’m getting are the same redacted files the rest of the world’s getting

(9:22am)  
**Isn’t the point of working for whatever top secret security agency it is you work for that you get a little more to chew on than the rest of the world?**

(9:23am)  
You’d think

(9:25am)  
**Do you think Steve knows about this?**

(9:30am)  
If it’s true that they tried to reach him for comment, then probably

(9:31am)  
I just hope command had the decency of giving him a heads up first

(9:33am)  
**Unlikely**

(9:34am)  
I know

(9:36am)  
**How do you think he took it?**

(9:39am)  
The way he takes everything

(9:41am)  
**Right. Calling him now.**

(9:42am)  
Don’t bother - he shut off his phone

(9:45am)  
**Of course he did**

(9:42am)  
I’ll stop by his place later

(9:44am)  
**Let me know if you need backup**

(9:42am)  
Please

+++

_“The anniversary of the murder of the ‘Howling Commandos’ has been tarnished with new attacks on our American Soldiers—"_

\--click--

_“Next up, our political analyst panel takes a look at Sergeant Major Rumlow’s address for the meaning behind the mask—"_

—click--

_“—the gruesome execution of those six soldiers has many anxious about whether we can expect to see more dismembered soldiers delivered to the steps of the White House—"_

\--click--

_“Captain Steve Rogers, notably named ‘Captain America’ by the New York’s Daily Bugle after his incredible one man infiltration of enemy territory, has not made a public appearance in over a year—"_

\--click--

_“A leak from within the U.S. Military is advising that not even family members are being informed that they’re loved ones have been taken hostage. Speculations as to the nature of this attack has many wondering who could have had access to the information necessary to capture these troops—"_

—static--

+++

 **Tues Dec 15// Bruce Banner**  
(4:06pm)  
**Steve just asked me for the name of my psychologist.**

+011 44 7700 900546  
(4:07pm)  
Isn’t that his business?

(4:10pm)  
**I don’t think his intentions are exactly pure.**

(4:11pm)  
**He’s looking to get approved for active duty.**

(4:15pm)  
Steve’s a big boy

(4:16pm)  
If he thinks he can handle active duty then let him at it

(4:16pm)  
Why are you even telling me this?

(4:17pm)  
**As his unofficial handler, I thought you’d want to know.**

(4:18pm)  
He’ll be thrilled to hear that he’s got an unofficial handler on top of the twenty official ones on his ass

(4:20pm)  
**You know what I mean.**

(4:21pm)  
Enlighten me

(4:22pm)  
**As the only one of his handlers who can actually handle him.**

(4:22pm)  
Point well made

(4:25pm)  
Will your psyc approve him?

(4:28pm)  
**He approved me once. And we all know how much of a long shot that was.**

(4:30pm)  
**Plus, I think the fact that Steve’s even willing to go and see someone at all is going to be seen as a pretty large step towards the well-adjusted lifestyle**

(4:31pm)  
The Army won’t go for it

(4:33pm)  
**Yes, they’ve been pretty adamant about keeping Steve in the public figure role, and he knows it.**

(4:34pm)  
**Not going to stop him from trying, though.**

(4:35pm)  
Do you think he should go back?

(4:36pm)  
**Having a pretty good sense as to why he wants to, I obviously think it’s a horrible idea.**

(4:37pm)  
**But Steve’s horrible ideas tend to have a way of coming together in unexpectedly less-horrible ways**

(4:39pm)  
**I’m just not sure if this is motivated by the fact that he thinks he can actually help these people, or because he’s hoping he won’t be able to**

(4:41pm)  
Thanks Bruce

(4:42pm)  
**Happy to snitch when the situation calls for it**

+++

 _“I’m not here. Speak if you must.”_ -BEEP-

“Natasha, it’s Coulson. Looking into Rogers’ profile now, I’d say that it’s a gamble to take him on, but I trust your judgment. We’ll make sure his commanding officer forwards us the file, and okay the reactivation. If you really think he can bring May’s team home, then it’s all worth it. Call from a secure connection for further details.”

+++

“This is Zola.”

“Yes, sir, its Engineer—"

“I know who it is. What is it?”

“Sir, we’ve managed to gain access to Barnes’ satellite phone.”

“Really? Well, it only took you the better part of a year. To think that Stark of all people developed a phone the entirety of Hydra couldn’t crack…absolutely sickening. What have you found? 

“Sir, it appears that it was primarily used as a civilian phone. No military info – or any info of any kind – appears to have been stored on this device.”

“So you called me to waste my time?”

“No! No—I mean, there was something on there.”

“Get to the point. What was on the device?”

“Voice messages, sir. Year old voice messages from Steve Rogers.”

“… Voice messages from Captain Rogers?”

“Yes sir.”

“You’re positive it’s him?”

“Absolutely, sir, one hundred percent.”

“Well then, it appears you have surprised me. Have the audio files forwarded to me immediately. And hope to dear God you aren’t mistaken.”

+++

 _“I’m not here. Speak if you must.”_ -BEEP-

“Hey Nat. Question – given that the last time you texted me it was from a number in Thailand that even JARVIS couldn’t trace, do you even still use this number? The question is obviously rhetorical seeing as I’m leaving you a message here fully trusting that you will listen to it and call me back because boy have I got intel for you. Seriously, call me. It’s like Christmas in the Stark Tower. Well, it is literally Christmas – Pepper had the whole place redecorated for the season – but this is like the kind of Christmas that would still be around in July, so. You know. Big deal. Anyway—ooh, one moment, got a call … looks like it’s from a Dutch number. So, you. Nice to know your voicemail still works.”

-click-

 

tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in the epigraph from the Avett Brothers' [Murder in the City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbW08aKDoQ4)
> 
> This is what happens when early morning classes get cancelled - y'all get SPOILED.
> 
> Anyway, you guys are super sweet and lovely, and your comments are the BEST thing on the planet. This chapter was quite a bit more plot-packed then the previous, so as always, please let me know if anything got lost in translation!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me guys! Two down, three to go!
> 
> \--  
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sleepingintheculdesac.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the added tags. There is some violence/death in this chapter (but only as graphic as a dialogue-only fic will allow).
> 
> Spiritless and mean  
> Ghost that comes between  
> I will keep my wits about myself  
> Disregard directions sent from hell

So when you said you worked for the CIA, what you really meant was that you worked for a secret sect within the American Military?

yes

And the reason we’re having this conversation on a napkin is ???

ppl could be listening, and we can burn this when we’re done

And we couldn’t text because…?

could be traced

That’s what secure lines are for

there's been a leak – that’s how those soldiers got targeted to begin with

and this secret ~~sec~~

SHIELD

Right, SHIELD – they’re going to fund a mission to go rescue these soldiers

yes

With me on point

yes

Nat, what’s the catch?

what's the catch for sending you into high combat territory with next to no back up on the off chance that you can rescue eight extremely valuable soldiers along with their intel? no catch at all

Hilarious

i am the epitome of wit and hilarity

Why me?

because SHIELD has a suspicion of who’s behind this

and ???

and if they’re right, then you’ve dealt with them before

HYDRA

bingo was his name-o

Wait, there were nine soldiers kidnapped, not eight

one's already dead

How do you know?

Nat, tell me

I swear I’ll read every word of this conversation out loud

christ, you’re dramatic

You sitting there twirling your pen makes me anxious

they tried to live broadcast it, like last time

but SHIELD intercepted it

Go SHIELD

we did this one thing

any final comments?

Yeah, burn this on the balcony so the place doesn’t smell like smoke

You got it Cap

Do NOT call m-------------------------

+++  
**Sat Dec 19 // +011 961 3 292 383**  
(11:45am)  
Did you trace it yet?

 **Tony Stark**  
(11:48am)  
have i traced the long lost phone of James Buchanan Barnes after its mysterious reactivation a year after his death? no, been busy repainting my model airplane

(11:49pm)  
Just the one?

(11:50pm)  
the other ones broke

(11:51pm)  
I need that location asap Stark

(11:58pm)  
paint's drying nicely

(11:59pm)  
(Attached: IMG 300_301)

 

(12:01pm)  
Blue’s a nice touch

(12:02pm)  
i thought so

(12:04pm)  
forwarding you the coordinates now

(12:06pm)  
not even a thank you?

(12:10pm)  
the nerve of some secret agents

(12:12pm)  
this is so going in my revenge book

+++

 **Sat Dec 19 // Phil Coulson**  
(1:01pm)  
We’ll have you leave tomorrow, get you there by Monday, arrange a pick up for Tuesday

 **+011 966 011 424 5091**  
(1:03pm)  
That’s just under 24 hours to get in and out

(1:04pm)  
You’ve done more in less

(1:05pm)  
Not when there are lives other than my own at stake.

(1:07pm)  
I know you’re more of a one man team.

(1:07pm)  
One woman

(1:08pm)  
Apologies

(1:10pm)  
But you are the one that vouched for Rogers

(1:12pm)  
Just because he’s a good soldier doesn’t mean I’m any more comfortable with the idea that his and eight other peoples’ lives depend on me.

(1:14pm)  
It’s too late to pull the plug on this.

(1:16pm)  
I don’t want you to pull the plug. The plug is just fine where it is.

(1:17pm)  
All I’m saying is that we need more time.

(1:19pm)  
We don’t have any safe houses in the area. No means of support that don’t risk full on rebellion or active warfare. This needs to remain covert.

(1:20pm)  
That won’t be a problem.

(1:22pm)  
I’ll give you another 24 hours

(1:22pm)  
It’s the right decision Coulson

(1:24pm)  
We’ll see.

 

+++

 **Sat Dec 19 // Steve Rogers**  
(4:21pm)  
I need to raincheck our lunch tomorrow.

 **Sam Wilson**  
(4:26pm)  
**On all-you-can-eat sushi Sunday?**

(4:27pm)  
Just need to postpone until next Sunday, is all.

(4:29pm)  
**It’s all good. I’ll just be over here, trying not to take this personally.**

(4:30pm)  
Sam, you know it’s not like that

(4:33pm)  
**Steve, you know I’m here for you man. And I get that you need your space. But you’ve spent three days in your apartment, on your own, and as your friend it’s my job to remind you that it ain’t healthy.**

(4:35pm)  
I swear it’s for a good reason

(4:36pm)  
**Am I allowed to know this good reason of yours?**

(4:39pm)  
**I’ll take that as a no, then?**

(4:40pm)  
I would if I could Sam, you know that.

+++

 **Sat Dec 19 // Sam Wilson**  
(5:41pm)  
**Right, so**

(5:42pm)  
**Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.**

(5:45pm)  
**And be smart. Look both ways before you cross the street. All that jazz.**

(5:46pm)  
**And actually listen to Natasha**

(5:49pm)  
**C’mon Steve, you didn’t really think ‘classified’ was enough of a road block to keep me from snooping, did you?**

Steve Rogers  
(5:50pm)  
I’ll be safe. And right back atcha

(5:52pm)  
**No reminder needed. I always listen to Natasha.**

 

+++

**[ENCRYPTED]**  
**FROM: mhill@us.shield.mil**  
**TO: srogers@us.shield.mil**  
**SUBJECT: Orientation**

Captain Rogers,

Let me be the first of many on behalf of SHIELD to say welcome, and allow me to express my enthusiasm for having you on our team.

Attached you’ll find the standard Level One Clearance protocols, as well as other useful information. You might find that this kind of an orientation is a little ‘bare bones,’ and you’d be correct. There is very little information that can be shared all across an organization as varied and as specialized as ours, and what with recent security threats, we’ve done our best to compartmentalize most of our information. What can be safely shared among all SHIELD employees is everything you’ll find in this document.

In addition to limiting the amount of information we digitally transfer, we’ve also been taking steps to clear our digital footprint as much as possible. Our e-mail server is being routinely cleared until we can establish exactly where our inside leaks may be. This means that, at the very least, for the purposes of this mission, your parameters, codes, and procedures will be given to you through slightly unconventional means. We’ve also had to “re-write” (so to speak) many of our procedures, because of their unfortunate overlap with US Military protocol. Contrary to your voiced concerns, your time away from military habits and training may actually be of benefit.

Agent Romanoff will brief you on anything else you need to know. In the meantime, I would caution you against any form of digital interaction that might compromise your location until your extraction.

We will not have a chance to meet personally until your post-mission debriefing, but until then, allow me to reiterate how honoured we are to have you with us.

Sincerely,  
Maria Hill

+++

 

“Wha… where am I?”

_“Ah good. You’re awake.”_

“I’m… who are you? Where are you?”

_“Unimportant. Look around. What do you see?”_

“I… I’m not tellin’ you anything until you answer me.”

_“You’ve spent the last week enduring vast amounts of pain, asset. You are hardly in a position to negotiate the terms of this interaction.”_

“My name is Barnes—”

_“Look around. What do you see?”_

“…”

_“Very well, asset. You are of course well within your right not to answer. I do feel obligated to share with you what the consequences are of your failing to cooperate.”_

_-static-_  
_“I don’t know… anything… -sobbing- Bucky—”_

“Steve?!”

_“Ah, so you recognize your unfortunate companion.”_

“LET HIM GO.”

_“Of course, asset, cooperate with me, and we will consider cooperating with you. Now, now, settle down, no need to look so panicked. Simply tell me what you see.”_

“Let him go, I’ll answer your questions, please, please—”

_-static-_  
_“Bucky…—sobbing—”_

“Stop! STOP! I see, I see a room. White walls, one door, no windows.”

_“Very good, yes. What about behind you, asset.”_

“A… a man.”

_“A little more descriptive, please.”_

“Blindfolded. He’s blindfolded. And gagged. And tied. He’s kneeling on the ground.”

_“Good. And next to him?”_

“…A gun.”

_“Excellent. That was not very hard, no? Now, pick it up.”_

“…”

_“Asset, I thought the price of refusing to cooperate was quite clear. I certainly don’t mind reminding you—”_

“I’ve got it, I’m holding it, I’m holding it! See!”

_“Good. The man in front of you - do you recognize him?”_

“No.”

_“His uniform, then, you recognize that, at least?”_

“Yes.”

_“There’s certainly no need to take that tone. What uniform is the man before you wearing?”_

“American Military. Special Forces.”

_-static-_  
_-sobbing-_

“STEVE!”

_“He’s quite alright.”_

“I’m answering your questions, damn it! I’m doing it! What’s he done to you, huh? WHAT’S HE DONE TO YOU?!”

_“Do find it in you to calm yourself. We certainly don’t want to escalate this situation unnecessarily. Now, you are correct in that the man before you is of your US Armed Forces. His name is Dino Manelli. 24. Married. Enjoys skating with his niece and nephew in the winter. Bakes. Gives ten dollars to the homeless man who lives in the alley outside his building in Kansas, Missouri—”_

“What…is…your…point?”

_“No point, sir. I simply wanted to acquaint you with Sergeant Manelli. Now, kill him.”_

“…no.”

_“No?”_

“You have him here. You kill him.”

_“Your memory can’t be so short as to have forgotten the consequences of disobedience.”_

_-static-_

“Please.. Please, you kill him. Steve—“

_-sobbing-_

“Stop this. You have me. YOU ALREADY HAVE ME!”

_-sobbing-_

_“Kill Sergeant Manelli, asset. And the torture ceases.”_

“I can’t… I can’t.”

_“One shot, asset.”_

“I can’t. Don’t make me do it—”

_-sobbing-_

“I won’t do it, you hear me? I WON’T DO IT.”

_“Bucky!”_

—gunshot—

“…”

“…”

_“Well done, asset. Please proceed to the door and make your way to the next room… good. Now, in an effort to speed this along somewhat, we’ll skip the pleasantries. Before you, you see Special Agent Helen Kim. 35. Mother of two…”_

 

tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in epigraph are from the Avett Brothers' Sanguine
> 
> I know I promised a chapter every other day, but I'm the most impatient person I know, so here's 3 for 3. Next chapter will be posted (probably) tomorrow!
> 
> You're all stunningly sweet and lovely people, truly. Thank you so much for the kind words and subscriptions! 
> 
> Cheers dears.  
> \--
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sleepingintheculdesac.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Be loud, let the others know  
> First a whisper, then it grows  
> Make them understand the last of it  
> Yeah come on, pain and all

_“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson with the New York State Divison of Veterans Affairs. I’m afraid I can’t make it to the phone at the moment. Leave me a message with your contact info and I’ll give you a call back as soon as I’m able. Have a good one.”_

_-BEEP-_

“Hello Mr. Wilson, this is Rebecca Irene with the Daily Gazette. We’d like to offer you the opportunity to comment on recent releases of information concerning your access to controversial EXO-7 Falcon technology, and whether this untested equipment may have been responsible for the death of your co-pilot Riley O’Neil in 2012. You can reach me at 646 942 7645. Thank you.”

_-BEEP-_

“Sam Wilson, this is Darren Johnson with Buffalo News. I was wondering if you’d be willing to speak with me regarding your partnership with Captain Steve Rogers - no doubt you’ve been made aware that information regarding the nature of your mission in South America has been made public, and we’d appreciate your comment on the ethics of Operation Anaconda. We’d be happy to speak more generally if you prefer to avoid comment on any specific timeframe or operation. Please contact me at 718 700 8453 at your earliest convenience. Thanks.”

_-BEEP-_

“Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Outreach NYC. I’m looking to speak to Samuel Wilson for comment on recent reports that American military technology was used in approximately seventeen airstrikes by various Islamic Militant groups across the Middle East. Please call 917 532 4892 and ask for Sarah.”

_-BEEP-_

“Staff Sergeant Wilson, this is Kenneth Poole from CNN - we’re looking to bring a military specialist on to our panel to offer some insight into the death of the Howling Commandoes in 2014 and draw some parallels to the confirmed death of six SHIELD operatives. Given your personal familiarity with the Commandoes and with Captain Rogers - who is rumoured to be implicated in the attempted rescue of the hostages - your insight would be greatly appreciated. We are also able and willing to offer small compensation for your time. Please give me a call at 646 824 5555. Thank you, and take care.”

+++

+++

_This is Dr. Bruce Banner with Stark Industries. I am currently indisposed, but leave me a message, and I’ll return your call._

_-BEEP-_

“Hello Dr. Banner, my name is Andy Warland, I’m a researcher with Con Edison. We at Con Ed would be absolutely honoured if you would be willing to discuss some of your gamma and radiation research - I can assure you that you would be very well compensated - well beyond what you’re being paid currently with Stark Industries, if the released reports are accurate regarding your current salary. Give me a call and we can talk details - 718 222 2750. Thanks a bunch.”

_-BEEP-_

“Bruce Banner, this is Glenn Talbot with the Evening Tribune. We’re following up on the release of high level military documents and would love to do an in depth piece investigating the circumstances of your general discharge back in ’09 - I can be reached at 718 863 5555. Thanks.”

_-BEEP-_

“Hello Bruce, this is Paula Stein with Washington Square News. We’re doing a piece to draw awareness to the issue of domestic violence here in the United States, and given the recently released reports on your family history, we’d love to give you an opportunity to weigh in on this issue. I think your own experience with your father’s arrest, conviction and sentencing, as well as your experience of violence through a military perspective make you the ideal choice for our feature. Please do give me call if you’re able - 212 477 7721. Thank you.

+++

**FROM: theboss@starkindustries.com**  
**TO: mhill@us.shield.mil**  
**SUBJECT: Damage Control**

Maria -

I’m getting Tony to run an intermediary press conference to maybe settle down the crowds until things get sorted out on your end. Far as I can tell, however this upload happened, it’s pretty much undoable.

While the sheer amount of information now out there is pretty overwhelming, you can assure your superiors that for the time being it doesn’t look like any of this information is a threat to national security. Most of the damage here is internal. That said, though the damage to your (and our) organizational reputation is secondary, it’s definitely substantial.

Any word from your ground team?

\- Potts

—

**FROM: mhill@us.shield.mil**  
**TO: theboss@starkindustries.com**  
**SUBJECT: Re: Damage Control**

Extraction was unsuccessful. We’re still waiting to make contact with Romanoff. Coulson is optimistic, but you know Coulson.

We’ll plant a few agents at your press conference. Much as FOX would like to believe, we’re not totally out of the running yet.

+++

_This is Barton. Talk please._

_-BEEP-_

“Clint Barton, this is Tania Nedford with The Citizen. We’re looking for comment regarding recent reports of your involvement with Mr. Duquesne just prior to his arrest for embezzlement from the US Department of State in 2004. I can be reached at 917 497 7878. Thank you.”

_-BEEP-_

“Hello Mr. Barton, this is James Stanford on behalf of The Wall Street Journal. I’m was wondering if you’d be willing to speak to me for your take on the use of Goliath technology in military operations in the Midwest, and whether this is a sound investment on the part of the United States Military. Please contact us at 212 422 6999 when you are able. Thank you.”

_-BEEP-_

“Clint Barton, my name is Ted Derkley. I’m calling from The Observer - we’re just looking to respond to the release of high security military documents and have found that your name is found often alongside mentions of The Avengers Initiative. If you would like to comment on your involvement with this specialized military tactic group, please give us a call at 212 358, 9425. Thank you.”

_-BEEP-_

“Hello Mr. Barton, my name is Nina Portales. I’m calling from the Daily News and can be reached at 646 792 5900. We at the Daily are attempting to sort through the mass release of military documents, many of which reference you in some capacity - as I’m sure you’re no doubt aware. While most of these documents do speak for themselves, we’d really love if you could clarify one thing for us: what exactly happened in Budapest?”

+++

_“Speaking on behalf of Stark Industries, Anthony Edward Stark now exits the front doors of Stark Tower and makes his way to the podium, where approximately one hundred and fifty members of the press have been waiting for the past hour.”_

“Alright, hi, hello, okay, here’s how this is going to go down. I’m gonna give you the Stark-Honest truth - heh, see what I did there? - right, anyway - I’m going to tell you all everything I know, and then you’re probably going to ask a bunch of questions about things I don’t know, and hopefully we can all walk out of here knowing a little less, capish?”

_-murmurs, camera clicks-_

“So first of all, the reason I’m the one standing here giving you guys the ‘DL’, and not my incredibly attractive girlfriend who also happens to be the CEO of Stark Industries - Pepper Potts - is because our phones have been ringing nonstop for the last six hours. Tomorrow is Christmas. You must have better things to do. So if you walk away from this with only one thing, please let it be that you all get a life. And I mean that in the sincerest, most kindest way possible.”

_-quiet laughter-_

“So, the second reason I’m here is because - as most of you know, I’m about the farthest thing from American Military. In fact, the Military and I haven’t always been the best of buddies. You might remember that whole ‘Iron Man’ debacle…yes, I see some nodding heads. Good to know you kiddos do your research before showing up to the party.”

_-murmurs-_

“And given the implication of this… this Snowden style crisis - and how the military has been temporarily - temporarily - branded as an untrustworthy organizational body, we - that is - Pepper and I, along with the four people who work with the Armed Forces that I actually like - figured you’d appreciate hearing the truth as a… non-partisan sees it. So, here we are.”

_-murmurs, camera clicks-_

“So, last week, military intel caught wind of nine American soldiers that were taken hostage in Afghanistan on the evening that they were supposed to fly back home. The military used Stark technology to locate one of the bases in Afghanistan that was suspected of housing the hostages. SHIELD - a name all of you probably recognize by now, if you’ve done a quick perusal of Wikipedia in the last ten hours or so—”

_-quiet laughter-_

“—is a specialized group of Army personnel that have been responsible for some of the USA’s greatest military successes in the past seventy years - just… google it, okay? Anyway, they approved a small infiltration team to attempt to rescue the hostages. Y’all are with me so far?”

_-nodding, quiet murmurs-_

“So this team lands in Afghanistan, gets into the base, and finds evidence linking the former terrorist group HYDRA to essentially every missing American soldier in the past five years. They also find information confirming active HYDRA agents within various levels of the American Military. You all remember HYDRA, I assume? Captain America, the Howling Commandos, yadda yadda.”

_-murmurs-_

“Swell. Now this is speculation on my part, though let's face it, my speculations tend to be pretty spot on - but one thing leads to another, and presumably in an effort to inform the public of the level of infiltration HYDRA had managed over the past century, the ground team released dozens of thousands of military documents in order to make their continued hidden existence impossible, bringing us full circle to the crisis we are now sharing in together. It's all very Kumbaya of us, isn't it. You three, link arms."

_-laughter, camera clicks-_

“So, in sum: SHIELD is good. HYDRA is bad. The military is temporarily compromised, but they’re dealing with it. Any questions?”

_“Can you confirm that Captain Steve Rogers was a member of the infiltration team?”_

“Sorry pal, your guess is as good as mine - next question?”

_“What can you tell us about Project: Winter Soldier?”_

“Other than the fact that the ‘Winter Soldier’ would make a stellar comic book character, not much. Yes, you with the hat?”

_“Has a location been confirmed on Former-General Alexander Pierce?”_

“Right- so, Alexander Pierce was one of the discernibly labeled ‘bad-guys’ - as far as I’m aware, it looks like he’s still somewhere in D.C. - I bet my pal Rhodey that it'd be twenty hours before they caught him, but Rhodey - yes that is General James Rhodes - bets twelve hours, so I guess we'll see who wakes up fifty bucks richer. Next?”

_“Any comment on the confirmed deaths of six of the nine hostages?”_

“I would really hesitate to call anything that’s happened in the last twenty four hours as ‘confirmed’ at this point, given that everything we thought was confirmed about the last seventy five years also turned out to be kind of not true. So…um, no?”

_“How is Stark Industries planning to respond to the reports that Stark Technology has been used to kill approximately three million people - of both American and foreign nationality?”_

“Wow… three million? Did you do the math on that? …That’s… well, that’s a number. Well… it’s no surprise to anyone that Stark used to primarily produce weapons. You know we don’t play that market anymore… and I guess, the only other, uh, thing to say about that is… well, it’s a good thing I’m not in charge anymore. Alright, next?”

+++

**[ENCRYPTED]**  
**FROM: nfury@us.shield.mil**  
**TO: mhill@us.shield.mil**  
**CC: pcoulson@us.shield.mil**  
**SUBJECT: Status Report**

Romanoff and Rogers, along with Agents May, Fitz, and Triplett were successfully extracted as of 00:06 24 Dec 2015. Of the nine from Delta, there were no other survivors. All are conscious and in stable condition.

The sixth unidentified individual with them was not a hostage. DNA matches that of former Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. He was unconscious at the time of boarding.

If they are to remain on their current flight plan, they will reach Lyon at approximately 0900 hours. Given the state of things on this side of the pond, France is probably the best place for them for the time being.

Simmons will lead a team to operate on Barnes upon landing. He is missing his left arm, which leads me to believe that the arm that was ‘delivered’ to the White House last year was, in fact, his. Coulson - confirm this and relay the necessary information to Simmons. Barnes was also showing signs of extreme duress, starvation, torture, aggression, and memory loss, according to Romanoff.

The intercepted broadcasts of the murders of Agents Dawson, Manelli, Kim, Shane, Koenig, and Blake have been reviewed. It is apparent that Barnes was responsible for pulling the trigger in at least four of the broadcasts. Until he can be suitably interrogated and the conditions of those murders is made clear, no attempts at arrest are to be made. That said, continue to ensure proper restraint where appropriate - Barnes is a wild card until we can determine what exactly happened over the last year. Either way, it’s not looking pretty. The footage has since been locked at Level 10 clearance. 

Do NOT not making any formal report or filing of Barnes’ return until things have settled. Continue to clear servers hourly. Hill, make sure we have a team ready to debrief all agents upon landing.

Fury out.

tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so you got two chapters in one day - maybe I'm a tad too eager, but whatever, it's tomorrow somewhere. 
> 
> Epigraph lyrics are from the Avett Brothers' [Colorshow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7BieNklO30). This is definitely one of their weirder songs, but if you've been digging their other stuff I'd recommend checking it out!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me pals! One more chapter to go!
> 
> \--  
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sleepingintheculdesac.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulldoze the woods that I ran through.  
> Carry the pictures of me and you.  
> I have no memory of who I once was,  
> and I don't remember your name.

_Hey, it’s Bucky. I’m away from the phone, so leave me a message, and I’ll call you right back. If this is Rogers, you punk, stop acting like texting offends your traditional sensibilities. Nobody answers phone calls anymore. We live in the twenty-first century for crying out loud._

_27 Dec 07:24_  
-BEEP-

“Buck… it’s me. Steve. I… you’ll never believe this, but I’m actually sitting next to you right now. I mean, you’re not conscious. But you’re here, and that’…I don’t really know what to say. I’ve been sitting here talking to you for two days. I guess I just called because… I don’t know. Because I wanted to hear you say something back...I got your phone. Can’t believe the damn thing still works….It’ll be on your bedside table when you wake up. So wake up soon, Bucky. We… we got some catching up to do.”

 _27 Dec 14:06_  
-BEEP-

“In case you were wondering, the world’s a mess right now. Natasha and I - we found the database housing all of Hydra’s crap - everything awful they’d done in the last century, and we just… I mean, there wasn’t exactly any time to search through it all, so we just uploaded it to the public access database, along with everything else. I mean, everything else - they’ve got my paystubs from my days as a cadet on this thing. Not to mention some compromising information about my missions, my political leanings, some transcripts from testifying in court for Bruce all those years ago… it’s all a mess, all of it.

That’s where we found your phone, you know. Right there along with all the other crap. Just a piece of data along with the rest. I recognized it right away - I remember all the arguments you had with Stark when he built you the thing. ‘I just want something that works in a desert, Stark,’ you said. ‘Who the hell cares if it matches my sunglasses?’ Course that didn’t stop him from making it as obnoxiously red and gold as he could afford….

Anyway, recognized it instantly. Found the thing before we found you, actually. And then one thing led to another…

Along with that list of things I don’t blame you for, shooting me is right at the top. I mean, you only hit my leg, skimmed it, really, and I’m obviously fine - they say it’s gonna be a full recovery so… I mean, they had you for a year, Bucky. A whole goddamn year, and I just f—

-You know what? It pisses me off, thinking about it. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more angry than I am when I think about what they did to you. I’m gonna make them pay for it, Bucky. I’ve never… I never thought, even when I joined the army, that I would actually enjoy killing someone, but seeing that doctor die… I enjoyed it, Bucky. I’m not sure if I should be ashamed to admit that.”

 _27 Dec 18:34_  
-BEEP-

“Hey… me again… I keep calling because I want to hear your voice, and then I panic when it gets to the beep, because I haven’t thought far enough ahead about what I’m going to say. I took the liberty of going through your voicemail and deleting all the hangups. You weren’t missing much anyway.

Director Fury flew in from New York this morning. We’re in France now, by the way. He came in to see you, and I guess to see me too. He says… well, he said that you killed those Agents… and maybe that’s true. Says they have footage of it and everything. I don’t think he meant it as a threat, but the man wears an eyepatch, so it’s not hard for him to come off as intimidating, really.

I just… I want you to know, Bucky, that no matter what it is you did, or had to do, I know you wouldn't have done it if you’d had any other choice. They had you for a year, and nobody blames you for that. I won’t let them blame you for that. You’re… you’re a damn hero, and I’m not letting anyone tell you or me different.

So when you wake up, if anyone gives you any trouble, you just tell them Steve Rogers will deal with it. I’m not losing you to this.”

 _27 Dec 20:46_  
-BEEP-

“I thought you were dead. They aired it and everything. You… Dum Dum… Jaques… Gabe all the commandos. I made myself watch it again yesterday, to see what I could’ve missed. It looked like you - you still had both your arms. But they covered your face when they actually… I don’t like thinking about it.

I looked for the rest of them- Jim and Monty and the rest. It’s part of why we missed the extraction - I didn’t wanna leave unless I was sure. Well, that and - it doesn’t matter, we’re obviously here now. But the point is, I looked, and they weren’t there. SHIELD says they’re definitely gone… I’m sorry Buck. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like to be there with them dead and you alive. I’m just -breath hitches- so sorry…

I’m going to spend the rest of my life saying sorry, and it’s not going to be enough.”

 _27 Dec 22:35_  
-BEEP-

“I’ve been making a list of everything you missed in the last year: Sam rides a motorcycle now. He says it’s not the same as flying, but it’s the closest thing to flying he can get as a civilian. High praise, as I’m sure you know….I got my art in a few exhibits. Only three, but it’s something…Becca’s pregnant with twins. Told me just the other week. Couldn’t believe what I was hearing when she told me. Twin girls. She said… she said that one was gonna be named Jamie - for you. Isn’t that something? And—”

-heart monitor beeping rapidly-

-sound muffles-

“HEY! I NEED SOMEONE IN HERE.”

-shuffling-

“Check his blood pressure -muffled sound- —the reading?”

“Is he okay?”

“Sir, you need to leave - get the—”

“Wait, what’s happening, what’s—”

“Someone get him out of here —shuffling—”

“—we have a DVT, heart rate—”

“What the hell is happening to him!?”

“Sir, you need to leave now.”

“Steve, c’mon, let them handle it, c’mon—” 

 _28 Dec 00:45_  
-BEEP-

“I’m sitting in the lobby outside. They won’t let me in… guess I should probably let the doctors deal with it - they seem to know what they’re doing… Nat went in to see you fifteen minutes ago - they say you’re awake but they won’t let me see you… so I’m just sitting out here, talking to your voicemail, deleting my own damn messages when your mailbox fills up because I’m that pathetic… -sighs- it’s fine. You’re worth being pathetic for.

I never did tell you what I meant to tell you, you know. Only have to wait a little bit longer. And then… maybe you and I can start over.”

 _28 Dec 01:29_  
-BEEP-

-muffled sounds-

“I’m going to see him”

“No— no, Steve, that’s not a good idea right now.”

“Natasha, I haven’t seen him in a year—”

“I know, Steve—”

“—a whole year, and you’re saying that sitting out here is a good idea? Have you even asked him? He probably wants to see me too—”

“Steve, he’s — he’s not the same.”

-crash, thudding sound-

_“—sir! Please leave the chairs in place—”_

“Steve!”

“I know he’s not the same, Natasha! I was listening the entire time the doc talked about electric shocks, and injections, and starvation, and bone density, and assault, and torture! I KNOW WHAT HE’S GONE THROUGH.”

_“Please keep your voice down sir!”_

“Steve, he killed four people.”

“—He was tortured for a YEAR!”

“He may have killed more in that year!”

“You and I have killed people, Natasha, don’t throw that in my face like—”

“Unarmed people? _Our_ people? We kill when we have to—”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t done horrible things to survive—We all have—”

“I’m not saying he had any choice but—”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that they were _conditioning him to kill you._ ”

“…what?”

“He shot you, Steve, as soon as he heard you. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“It means that he’s been trapped doing God awful things for God awful people, that’s—”

“It means that he’s compromised, Steve.”

“Bullshit.”

“And you are too!”

“Damn right I’m compromised, now let me see him. He wants to see me! I know he—”

“Damn it Steve, he barely remembers your name!”

-crash-

_“Sir, the chairs!—”_

_28 Dec 01:32_  
-BEEP-

“—he needs space. He needs to be away from all the things Hydra used against him. Right now, that includes you too…Steve?”

“I’m fine.”

“Steve?”

“Leave me alone Nat—”

 _28 Dec 01:36_  
-BEEP-

-stifled sobs-

 

+++

 

**[ENCRYPTED]**  
**FROM: jsimmons@us.shield.mil**  
**TO: nfury@us.shield.mil**  
**CC: pcoulson@us.shield.mil, mhill@us.shield.mil**  
**SUBJECT: Re: Status Report**

Director Fury and colleagues,

As requested, I’ve attached a full report on the status of all five agents - you’ll find their corresponding charts along with my own notes as well as treatment plans, where applicable. Most of our returning agents were relatively physically unharmed, all things considered.

Regarding Sergeant Barnes, I’m still unsure as to what precisely they had been injecting him with, but attached you’ll find a pretty thorough breakdown of his blood work. Whatever motley of drugs they were providing him, I can confirm that it was extremely addictive, and that the length of time it took to discharge him from care was due mainly to the effects of withdrawal.

Regarding his memory loss, I suspect that it was a combination of whatever drugs they were injecting him with, as well as some form of electroshock therapy. Various incisions made across his body suggest that they had been planning to attempt further (and in my professional opinion, far more primitive) methods of memory manipulation, but thankfully we were able to intervene before that.

As of 29 Jan 2016, most of his memory was returned to him. Though I am not a psychologist by any means, he and I did speak extensively during our appointments - he spoke frequently of remembering “facts and not feelings.” Unsurprisingly, I would attribute this to the immense amount of torture he was subjected to.

Regarding his suspected involvement in the murders of our other agents, sir, I respectively would be inclined to disagree that this man was capable of any form of willful violence or agency while a prisoner of war. In the best interests of the patient, I believe that Sergeant Barnes is in need of continued extensive physical therapy, as well as strong emotional supports.

In response to your concerns of his aggressive behaviour, I’m pleased to report that his interactions with Captain Rogers were cordial, if unfamiliar. He certainly seems to remember Rogers, but is resistant to summoning any emotions of any kind towards him. He and Agent Romanoff have had more success in connecting on what I would perhaps call a ‘deeper’ level, but as I stated previously, at this point we have wandered well beyond my field.

I believe that, now that he has been settled back in New York City, his condition will only continue to improve from here. I am of course willing to continue serving as his medical practitioner until I am needed elsewhere.

If any more information is required, please do not hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,  
Agent Simmons.

—

_“You’ve reached James Barnes. I’m not available at the moment. Please leave me your name and number, and a brief message, and I’ll give you a call back.”_

-BEEP-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm all about coming full circle, the lyrics in the epigraph are from (surprise surpise) the Avett Brothers' [Tear Down the House](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpf8z2HFbBA&spfreload=10&noredirect=1). Seriously, even if you don't listen to the song, at least go read the lyrics, because holy does it ever ring true here. 
> 
> I'd love to know your thoughts on this last chapter - it was definitely one of the busier ones, dialogue-wise, and your feedback for when things are going well/not well helps a TON. Really.
> 
> I just want to reiterate how lovely you all are and how wonderful this fandom is. Truly, you guys say some very sweet things, and I definitely wouldn't have fleshed this out beyond that first prompt if it weren't for your encouragement. So thank you thank you thank you. *snugs for you all*
> 
> <33

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from "Tear Down the House" from the Avett Brothers
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sleepingintheculdesac.tumblr.com) if you're so inclined.


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